How I De-Christmasified Chanukah

Lifestyle
Menorah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Growing up I sat on Santa’s knee. Every year, my mom would take my brother and I, and then later my little brother and sister to the mall, dressed in our brown corduroys, Bauer runners, and horrible acrylic sweaters (if you don’t know what I mean, go watch That 70s Show), to sit on the old man’s lap, smile for a photo, and get our free candy cane.

When Santa would ask us what we wanted for Christmas, we’d answer, with a grin,

“Oh nothing. We’re Jewish. We just wanted the candy cane.”

We knew that Christmas wasn’t our holiday. Chanukah was. And when it rolled around, we’d gather around the menorah, sing songs, and eat latkes and sufganiyot. Sure there were gifts. Eight of them for each child. But they were trinkets, one day a game for all us kids to share, another a bag of getl (chocolate money), and always a new dreydl with which to gamble (not for profit, I assure you).

That was Chanukah–family, friends, parties, and food (really, Jews are mostly about the food).

Somehow, this holiday, this Festival of Lights of ours, that’s supposed to celebrate a miracle, just like Christmas does, has become, well… just like Christmas. Pressure to shop, piles of presents, even a desire for a Chanukah Bush decorated with silver and blue tinsel. (When I say bush, I do not mean vajazzling, by the way.)

What a sad loss of the true meaning of the holiday.

Here’s an actual conversation with a Hindu woman I worked with:

“So, what are you getting your kids for Christmas?”

“Nothing. I’m Jewish.”

“That’s mean.”

“Huh?”

“It’s mean that you won’t get your kids presents and a tree. I mean, Christmas isn’t a religious holiday or anything.”

I walked away shaking my head, sure that Christmas actually was a religious holiday. The most religious one of all.  Like the Christian Yom Kippur.

Say Hello to Chrismukkah.

I’m guilty of falling into the Christmas-themed Chanukah shopping frenzy trap myself. When my kids were small, I used to buy them each eight presents (that’s 24 if you’re bad at math like me.) I’d decorate the house with blue and silver decorations (did you know they even sell strings of blue and white lights now?), and even toy with the idea of getting a little tree to doll up with tiny dreydls, menorahs, and Jewish stars.

My husband would look on me with incredulity.

“What are you doing?” He’d ask.

“I’m getting ready for Chanukah.”

“Well, it looks like Jewish Christmas to me.”

Yes it did. And, about five years ago I stopped.

My kids had become greedy, spoiled brats. They’d lost interest in lighting the menorah and in eating latkes and playing dreydl. All they wanted was their presents. They would spend all day staring at those piles of presents, begging to “open just one, a little early and why do we have to wait for after we light the candles?”

We had lost the spirit of Chanukah. I had to reclaim it. I became like Scrooge, but in a good way. I stopped buying the presents. I stopped decorating my house, save the spot of honor for the beautiful Menorah my great-grandmother brought from Poland. I reclaimed Chanukah. I de-Chrismasified it.

And no, I don’t wish that I celebrated Christmas. After all, Chanukah has eight days of partying, chocolate, fried food, and gambling.  Beat that Santa.

 



4 Responses to “How I De-Christmasified Chanukah”

  1. I love this! Chanukah is not Jewish Christmas. It can be fun and enjoyable (and delicious) for what it is, we don’t have to try to copy another religion’s major holiday.

    Melissa
    Reply
  2. Mara, I am often called “ES” (a la Scrooge) during this time of year because I don’t decorate my entire house, and if I could get away with not decorating at all I probably would. I believe that at the core of the holiday, whether Hanukkah or Christmas or even Kwanza, it is about being with family, being present in their lives and not about how many presents you are able to give. The pressure to “out do” last year is enormous, as everything is weighed and measured. I have asked for charitable donations in my name to causes I support (such as Shot@Life, RESULTS, Parkinson’s Research, and the Anchal Project) and don’t need even a card. But if someone wants to decorate like crazy, go for it, just don’t criticize me when I don’t. That kind of judgment has no place during the holidays (or anytime at all for that matter). Thanks for this post!

    Myrdin Thompson
    Reply
  3. Excellent, excellent post, Mara. I love when you say, “We had lost the spirit of Chanukah. I had to reclaim it.” I feel like we are in a constant battle in our house when it comes to the “Santa Christmas” vs. the “Jesus Christmas.” I am tying to teach my children contentment and believe me, they are not strapped for toys, but how do I keep them from wanting more and more and more amid this holiday? I will tell what has helped out so far. We do not have basic cable. Yes, we have Netflix and DVD’s but no commercials! I LOVE IT.

    I am sure they will hate me when they are older but that’s okay, I am saving up money for future therapy for them… ;)
    Nice read!
    -Elizabeth

    Elizabeth Rago
    Reply
  4. THANK YOU. I’m so happy to read this. I couldn’t agree more. Something I’ve really been thinking about seriously this year, after growing up in the US with a lot of that Chanukah clutter. In Israel it’s a different holiday, but it’s getting more and more commercial.

    Liz
    Reply

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