Lots of people have opinions about when you should get married. It often differs with geographical location; but no matter where you live, people judge.
Where I grew up in the Midwest, if a guy didn’t go down to the altar by the time he was 30, many suspected he was gay. Funny how that logic never applied to women in the same situation; people just felt pity that they were “old maids.”
When I was 27 years old and in grad school, my boyfriend commented, “If you’re not married by 30, there’s something wrong with you.” He was referring to people in general, but I remember pointing out, “You’re 31.” He replied, “This only pertains to women.” I’m pretty sure an argument about misconceptions and double standards erupted. Not surprisingly, we did not end up staying together.
Targeting females again, I’ve heard people say that women who never married or who married later in life were selfish because they were more concerned about their careers than having a family. There are many faulty assumptions here: you should find a soul mate early in life, career-minded women don’t value family life, and marriage and kids represent the only acceptable life path. It’s like there’s pressure to get married for the sake of saying you’re married whether the match is ideal – not really the best recipe for long term success.
I got married when I was 34 year old. It wasn’t that I dragged my feet because I aspired to be a CEO. I simply didn’t meet the right person until then. Had I met Mr. Right during my 20’s, I would have married him. But sometimes life protects you from your own mistakes; if I married any of the guys I knew in my 20s, we probably would be divorced by now as we weren’t meant to be together.
In my 20s I thought I knew who I was and the type of guy I wanted to marry. He looked a certain way, worked at a certain job, and had a certain personality. I ended up dating the wrong guys. Looking back, I just needed more life experience to figure out what was right for me, and this learning came in my early 30s.
Ultimately it’s a personal choice when people get married or if they even want to tie the knot. Blanket statements that judge an entire gender or age group are just ignorant. No one wants to be stereotyped.
What opinions have you heard regarding age, gender and marriage? Let us know in the comments!