Just Say No to Advice and Stop Trying to Be the Perfect Everything.

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A friend of mine wanted to vent. Blogs are often a great place to do just that. And I find writing very cathartic. She wanted to fly under the radar thought so she asked if I would post her vent on MOMentum. I was happy to help her find an outlet. Apparently she has been the brunt of a ton of advice–all unsolicited and all unwanted.

“I am a single mom, trying my hardest to juggle working full time and raising my kids. I have my downfalls. Sometimes, I choose to sit on the couch instead of doing laundry. Sometimes, I choose “me time” instead of cleaning. Some people may think this is terrible, but I need to take care of my self emotionally or else I will break down. I don’t have a partner to help with the chores, raise the kids or contribute to the family income.

I wish people would stop judging and offering “advice.” I don’t want to hear endless advice about how I should be raising my kids from people who don’t’ have kids. I don’t want to hear advice about how I could juggle my time better from people who don’t have kids. Basically I don’t want advice. I will ask you if I need your help or advice. Until then, don’t judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes.”

The best advice is this: don’t take advice and don’t give advice. – Author wishes to remain anonymous

As working moms, we all need to give ourselves a break. The other day I saw a sign somewhere that pointed out the word “IMPERFECT.” Moms put so much guilt on themselves and work so hard to please everyone and most of all their children. We need to know it’s okay to make mistakes and to take a day off or have a less than perfectly clean house. Just look closely at the word “IMPERFECT” and you’ll see a hidden message that says “I’M PERFECT.”

(IM)PERFECT


2 Responses to “Just Say No to Advice and Stop Trying to Be the Perfect Everything.”

  1. To whoever wrote this, know that you are supported and not alone. It is mind-boggling that others try to advise a single mom….they have no idea what your reality is, no matter what their perspective is. In the spirit of perfect/imperfect, this post is perfect.

    Suz
    Reply

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